Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
