grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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