Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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