she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
