Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
