I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
