Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
