drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
