I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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