girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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