HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
