Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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