If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
i think i have herpe
just one?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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