i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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