We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize