i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
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