my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Randomize
