And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
