i think i have two assholes
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Randomize
