so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Randomize
