Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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