I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
