Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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