On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
