marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
