You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
