i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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