seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
operation have a gay friend backfired
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
