I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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