i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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