i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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