i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
