That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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