Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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