I can text with my tongue
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Randomize