The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Are my feet made of real feet?
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Randomize
