Cold hands, warm shart.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
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