Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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