Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
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