That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
