got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
