I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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