He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
