I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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