I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
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