It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
