our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
