I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Randomize
