It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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