my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize