We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
