My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
