Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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