so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
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