I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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