i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
