He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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