Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
