Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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