we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
