Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize