There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Randomize
