just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
