I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize