I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
