Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
