You're my little dorito
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
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