Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize